"Come What May and Love it"

Joseph B. Wirthlin, a former member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints said, “Come what may and love it”. My sister has a cute sign hanging in her kitchen as a reminder of this tender quote. I have never applied that quote to myself before today…and I think it may have taken me too long.

I will be the first to say that everybody goes through trials, or rough patches, in their lives. Nobody has it “easy” even though it may seem that way. Sometimes the people who seem to always have it all together are the ones who don’t have it all together at all. My family has been going through some of these “rough patches” the past couple weeks and it has been so hard to look at what life has thrown us and be grateful and “love it”. But we were looking forward to this past weekend. My parents were going to go on down to good ole Cedar City to visit my sister and her husband and Daniel and I were going to have a nice relaxing weekend alone before Addie decides to show up. Daniel and I had made our plans and my parents got in my dad’s car and went on their merry way. It was going to be such a nice change from the craziness we have been going through to just be able to relax. But, as always, life had something a little different in mind.

About 10 minutes outside of Fillmore (which, if you are familiar with the drive to Southern Utah, is a little more than halfway to cedar) my parents faced yet another trial. My dad’s engine decided it didn’t want to work anymore and scared my mom half to death. So after getting a phone call from my dad assuring me my sister was on her way to retrieve them it became very apparent that they were going to be trapped in Cedar if somebody didn’t come rescue them. And those somebodies were my husband and I. So the next morning after Daniel got home from his classes we loaded up my mom’s car and headed down south, which definitely wasn’t what I wanted to be doing with my weekend.

Daniel and I decided to make the most out of our trip and we were able to spend time with my wonderful in-laws, see our dear friends, and even spend time with my sister, her husband and my parents. It was looking like things were going to be going our way for a fun weekend. We had been hanging out with our friends and I started to not feel very well. I ignored it and tried to focus on the game we were playing until it got unbearable. So Daniel and I gathered up our stuff and headed to the car. By the time we were on their driveway I was screaming in pain, scared and not sure what on earth I was experiencing, in a panic I call my mom and we decide the best idea is to meet at the Cedar hospital. I don’t think Daniel has ever driven that fast and I don’t think I have ever screamed that loud. We rush me into the hospital and they immediately send me to labor and delivery and I was being prepared to give birth to my daughter. I didn’t have a single thing with me. No clothes, her car seat was in an entirely different city and I still have 7 weeks to go in my pregnancy. I was terrified, in pain, and if I haven’t already mentioned it…absolutely scared out of my mind.

I wasn’t in labor, thankfully, and they gave me narcotics to help stop the pain. After doing some tests and talking to the on call OB, they came to the conclusion that I was experiencing kidney stones. If you have ever passed a kidney stone you will know I am not being dramatic when I say that it is the most painful thing….ever. They say it’s worse than child birth, which was a comfort to me because if that was what labor would feel like Daniel and I would be having one child. After a couple hours, 2 bags of fluids, and promising the nurse to return immediately if my pain came back, we were sent home.

I looked at my husband and asked him what else could have possibly gone wrong. I was so frustrated that all of this crap kept continually happening to myself and my family and I told Daniel I didn’t know if I could take much more of it. And my sweet husband reminded me that if we had stayed home for the weekend he would have been at drill when I started passing my stone, leaving me all alone and Daniel in Spanish fork. My mom and dad were able to be at the hospital with me, along with my husband, because we had gone down to Cedar City. And I know this must sound ridiculous…but I found myself in tears of gratitude for my Heavenly Father. It made me stop and realize that even when we are given trial after trial, our Heavenly Father doesn’t leave us hanging. He continually blesses us with tender mercies and love. And even though sometimes we don’t understand why we are facing the trial in front of us, He does. And we just have to trust that it is for our own benefit. We have to embrace what comes our way and love it. I am not saying I loved passing a kidney stone, but I do love that I had the support and love of my family. I love that my dad was there to help my husband give me a priesthood blessing. I love that my husband is worthy to hold the priesthood. I love that I have a healthy and strong baby whose heart beat is strong and beautiful. I love that I have an awesome family who loves and supports me unconditionally. I am so blessed and even in the midst of all of these trials we have been facing I think I can finally say that I am finally embracing whatever comes next and I will love it.

The gospel is great guys. And if you have questions about what I believe as a Latter Day Saint please don’t hesitate to ask me or visit lds.org AND please watch general conference this upcoming weekend! I promise you won’t regret it. 

10 things I learned while being pregnant.

Wow it's been a while. I wish I could excuse myself for being busy, when, in reality, I am just so boring and so painfully lazy. So there's that. 

So, we are drawing near the end of this crazy 9 month adventure that the world likes to call pregnancy! If you've ever been pregnant you will understand me when I say that it has been the longest months of my life, but they've also flown by. I remember being told my due date was in November and laughing because that was forever away. And now we are more than halfway done with September, I am starting to really not like these stupid Braxton Hicks contractions and I have 8 weeks left if she even makes it to her due date. My OB has been lovely to inform me that I should be prepped to have this baby early. So here's to hoping I am actually ready to have her when she decides to come. But, if we are all being super honest with each other, I don't think I will ever be ready. Ever. 

Since I have been a lone wolf a lot lately due to my husband's crazy schedule I have had lots of time to think and reflect on a lot, especially on my experiences while being pregnant. And so I thought I would make a list of things you should know and be prepared for if you’re planning on getting pregnant…well ever.  

1.    Food commercials are made with pregnant women in mind. I kid you not, they know how to get ya when you’re pregnant and vulnerable. I have never in my life watched a  KFC commercial and thought “wow, I need some chicken and mashed potatoes immediately.” But since being pregnant? If I even get a hint of that darn commercial…it’s over. And Daniel is running to KFC to get me chicken and mashed potatoes. Taco Bell, I’m looking at you too. Blasted fast food commercials.

2.    Other women are not sympathetic towards you. Your friends may say they feel bad that you have to get up every hour to go pee in the middle of the night, but they don’t mean it. Especially if they’ve been pregnant. So don’t believe ‘em. Just don’t do it. BUT your husband will feel bad for you, so milk that for all its worth. ;)

3.    There is not enough hours to sleep in the day. I honestly believe I could sleep all day, all night, and all day again and still wake up absolutely exhausted. I have never been so tired in my entire life. You may think you’re making a person, but that person is actually a life sucking parasite. You’re a host, don’t kid yourself.

4.    Husbands are so patient. My poor Daniel knew I was a crazy pants when we got married but I don’t think he anticipated how weird pregnancy would be for him. Poor guy looks at me wrong and I cry. He takes too long at the grocery store, I cry. If it takes him a little bit longer than usual to get home from school? Forget it. I think he’s dead and you guessed it, I am in tears. So HUGE shout out to my awesome husband for being so patient and understanding and for not losing his marbles when I say “I don’t know why I’m crying” 60 times a day.

5.    Stairs were created by Satan himself. No further explanation needed.

6.    When you’re pregnant, everybody and everything will probably annoy you at one point or another. I find myself being bothered especially by things I can’t control. Don’t even get me started on the summer heat. Who decided it needed to be 90 plus degrees outside all the time? Dumb.

7.    You may think you are in control of your body, but then you get pregnant and you learn that you definitely are not. So that’s always fun.

8.    People will describe your belly as cute and adorable, but I promise you will feel like neither of those things. Just say thank you and remind yourself that you are not a beluga whale, but a pregnant person and all will be fine.

9.    Your OB will become your best friend. No lie, Dr Rallison and I are homies. Just be sure to pick a doctor that you feel completely comfortable with because you will become close in ways you never thought possible. Your OB is crucial to having a healthy pregnancy and baby. You should feel completely comfortable going in with a huge list of concerns, and he or she should put them to rest and help you understand what’s happening. I can’t stress this enough. YOUR OB IS A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON!

10.You will have moments of panic, especially on those restless nights, and you will feel guilty for being panicked. Do not feel bad. I seriously have anxiety attacks when I think about how I am going to be a mom in approximately 8 weeks and its 100% completely normal. It doesn’t mean I don’t want my baby or that I don’t love her. It doesn’t mean I am not excited beyond belief to be a mom. All it means is that your life is about to change in a way that you can’t imagine. My life is about to change in a way that I don’t think I have fully wrapped my brain around. I don’t comprehend it, and it’s ok. That’s why we have moms. Because they were in our position once too, and they survived, just like we will.

Being pregnant has been such a different experience than I ever anticipated it being. Do not get me wrong, it has been hard…but I do realize that I am not the first person to have a hard time while pregnant. I am not trying to sound like I am complaining or get sympathy…but I do know I am the queen of complaining about it, but in all honesty it’s truly a miracle. I didn’t know it was possible to love somebody as much as I love my daughter, and I haven’t even met her yet. I daydream about her. What her dreams will be, what her smile will look like, whose eyes she will have. I can’t help but get emotional thinking how lucky I am that this little spirit chose Daniel and me to be her parents. It’s amazing what our Heavenly Father has made possible. I mean my body has created a person. A PERSON. With bones, a brain, a beating heart…and if you ask me, that’s pretty incredible. I am scared out of my mind, I am more excited than I have ever been, and I simply can’t wait to meet my little Adelaide.