Here's Why We Don't Talk Anymore.

A consequence, whether it is good or bad, of living in Davis county is running into a lot of people I know.  I have said it before and I will say it again…high school wasn’t my favorite era of life. I went through a lot of crap and honestly, I wouldn’t go back for a million dollars. With that being said, I do have a lot of people I hold near and dear to my heart from that time of my life. Some of, in fact I would say a good handful, of my closest and best friends are from my high school years. But after going to such a huge school, there are plenty of people I wouldn’t even consider acquaintances, and with good reason. But the problem with me is that I am a people pleaser. I do not like being disliked. To go even further, I love to be liked! I find myself to be a likable human being. Am I perfect? Gosh no. I am not perfect in any way, shape or form. I make personal mistakes, I make marital mistakes, mommy mistakes, and mistakes in my friendships. I just make lots of mistakes, but that is what makes me human. And, like most humans, I tend to overthink, overanalyze, and stress out about these things, and honestly? It’s pretty exhausting. So when I run into (hardly) acquaintances from high school and they say things to me like, “why haven’t we talked?!” or “How come we never get together?!” there’s probably a reason we don’t. And here it is. I am done putting effort into relationships and being the only one to do so. Let me elaborate.

Once upon a time, not all that long ago, I was in a very one-sided friendship. I put in all the effort. I always seemed to be apologizing for my downfalls, making up for my mistakes, and giving 110% when this other individual gave none. Because it’s not really a secret I crave acceptance, this person used that to their advantage. I wasn’t really aware of this problem…but everyone around me was. My parents, siblings, and friends warned me over and over again about this pretty harmful situation but I would have none of it. Eventually the friendship ended over time and I look back now and I see how harmful this was to my self-esteem. I never felt good enough. I always questioned why this person even talked to me, let alone was my friend. And I doubted my relationships with those around me because of it. I left that friendship damage me a little bit and that made me pretty mad. When I got married to my sweetheart, and found in him the best friend I could have ever asked for, he helped me realize that the people I wanted in my life would be in it just as seriously as I was. They would text, call, and put in the effort to see and talk to me. And those that didn’t, well they didn’t deserve to be around me.

I also want to point out that just because we don’t talk every single day doesn’t mean our friendship isn’t strong, or great. A sign of a great friendship is going periods of time without talking, because let’s be real life is crazy, and still being able to pick up where you left off. I am lucky to have so many of those friends in my life. But again, the effort is mutual. Not one sided. Are you seeing a pattern yet?

I don’t want to come off as a snot, or as thinking I am high and mighty. I most definitely am not. But when it comes to the relationships in my life? I take those pretty seriously. If I put effort into our relationship, it’s because I genuinely want you to be in my life. I want you to know my family, hear of my accomplishments, help me through my trials. I make the effort because I love you. Haven’t heard from me in a while? Shoot me a text, call me, or send me a facebook message! If you hear back from me, that’s generally a good sign, ;)

I have been blessed with an incredible group of friends that love me just as much as I love them. I have surrounded myself, finally, with people who want me in their lives too. And it’s pretty nice. It may have taken me a while, but I am done being taken advantage of. And it’s a pretty great feeling.