I'm Pretty Accomplished, It's Fine.

               Today has been a good day, a great day even! Why? Because I am officially done with my very first college exam. woo woo! I honestly have never felt so relieved in my life, walking away from it I just had this urge to high five everybody I passed and give the occasional hug, followed by a totally spontaneous flash mob. I didn't do any of these things, but I definitely had an extra skip in my step. It's not necessarily that I think I did exceptionally well on this test, or that I failed it, it was more along the lines of "I am done having extreme amounts of stress and anxiety and I can now enjoy my weekend!" sort of deal.

            I feel like I haven't blogged in so long, that the need to update you on my super fun life is just killing me. Accomplishments so far are as follows...Number One:  I have found myself a group of friends. Please, hold you applause. I honestly can't even tell you how fantastic these boys are. They are hilarious, fun, and total sweethearts. Basically I just adore them all, and they adore that I love to bake cookies and make food, so it works out beautifully!

             Accomplishment number two: I survived a weekend without Kim! Well, barely. She went home last weekend, and since I had been home just the weekend before (and it made coming back to cedar that much more difficult, believe me) I decided I would skip out on this trip up north and stay here in Cedar City. After concern was shown for my well-being, and a 3 hour nap was taken, I went and did fun things. With MY friends, all by MYSELF. If you have talked to me since I have moved away, you will realize how big of a deal this really, truly, definitely totally is. I can't even tell you the beaming pride on my face at the end of that weekend. You can also imagine how excited I was when Kim got home on sunday night :)

             Accomplishment number 3: I have discovered I make a mean peanut butter cookie. I don't like peanut butter so I haven't even tried one, but everybody else raves about them. It makes me just feel so good inside!

            Accomplishment number 4: I WAS DOMESTIC. I know. Let's all just talk about this for a minute. I made something for dinner that wasn't from a box. I got the recipe from my beautiful sister, went to the grocery store and bought everything, and even made cookies for dessert. ALL BY MYSELF! I was so proud. And it was super delicious and nobody got food poisoning or died! It goes without saying that calling it an Accomplishment is a total understatement. And a shout out to my sweet mommy who made me my stylish and totally cute apron so I could be domestic and smokin hot, at the same time. Hypothetical high five.

            Accomplishment number 5: I took my first exam, which I told you all about earlier :)

Accomplishment number 6: I am happy for me, by me, because of me. I slowly learn that it's ok to be different. I love not being like everybody else, it keeps those I surround myself with on their toes. They're a bunch of cuties and they like me for me. It's such a rewarding feeling knowing that people love you for your soul, not just your face.

            I feel like you are basically all caught up on the world of Haley! It may not be a super exciting life, but I like it because it's my life. I guess at this point the only thing I can do is just keeping trusting myself and the Lord, and making the right decisions to get where I want to be. And while I'm at it, doing something fun and a little crazy (but always reasonable...right mom?) :) Until next time!

Growing Up Is No Fun

           Its funny how good I am at this whole blogging deal. Let's all just take a moment and appreciate this for a second. And shove it in the face of those who said "you cant keep this up" HA.  :) that was rude. I am sorry for behaving so childish for a moment there.

            I think I had this total misconception of what my college life was going to be like and I am more than willing to sit here and blame TV and movies for that. I definitely should have gotten out more often; it would have made this transition a little more realistic. I guess it's just frustrating to me that I spend my whole high school life being so confident in who I am and what I want from my life and then I actually come to college and I have no idea what I want or who I even am. I feel like this is so backwards, but it's not. I understand that is how everybody feels but oh is it frustrating. I feel like I am 12 years old again and completely lost in the abyss and crying because I don't understand my emotions. Maybe that just comes with being a girl. Either way it sucks and I don't like it. Not one bit!

            I guess I just find myself becoming more and more reserved as I get older. It's hard to believe, because the majority of you I have known for years and you know how I am. But I have found myself sitting in the dining hall by myself, looking around at the various students that attend SUU and thinking to myself "What the heck am I doing here?" which is an awful thing to think. I definitely feel like I am trying so hard to not be the girl I was in high school, because I feel like I should be somebody else. But should I be somebody else? Or is that really, truly, 100 percent who I am? College makes me feel like there is a piece of me missing...a piece that I never really minded not having all throughout high school. So why suddenly do I notice it's not there? And what isn't there anyway? I have a loving family who supports me and loves me unconditionally, I am smart, I have great friends, and I have the gospel. So why is it that I can't make this feeling of "Who am I?" go away? I just need to get my freaking degree in psychology so I can figure out what's wrong with me. Because we all know my parents can't pay for that kind of help. :)

            I also find myself having a hard time making friends. Along with not wanting to be who I was in high school, I also don't want to surround myself with the kind of friends I had in high school. Is it bad that I want to be appreciated and wanted instead of put down and needed? I just see myself still surrounding myself with the kind of people that don't appreciate me for who I am. And I just don't know how to shake that habit of mine. I am so big on telling others to not fit into a mold, to be an individual and not care what anybody thinks. But how can I preach it if I don't even do it for myself? Don't get me wrong, I have made some incredible friends here who I adore. In fact, I live with my best friend. It couldn't be more ideal. but I guess I just can't help but feel like I am doing something wrong.  I know that every day this will get easier, I just am being impatient. In reality, Heavenly Father has a plan for me. I have purpose and depth; I am a daughter of God. And there is nothing better than that. I just wish he would hurry this little process along. Because growing up is no fun.

Little Life Lessons

               I find that every single day of our lives we learn little life lessons, ranging from don't touch something if it's hot in fear of getting burnt to learning to laugh at yourself instead of feel bad for yourself. I feel like since moving out the amount of little life lessons I learn increases every single day. I've learned so much here already, and that is excluding my academics. I have been thinking a lot about how I can make college the best experience ever, especially after hating high school as much as I did. And the lessons that have been hardest for me to grasp, even though my loving parents have pointed them out to me time and time again, are these 3 things. 1. That my happiness is in my own hands. If I can't be happy for me and by me, then nothing will ever truly make me happy. 2. That what others think about me DOES NOT MATTER. Not even a little bit. The only opinions that matter in the long run are my parents, my own and my Heavenly Father's. And I think I am doing ok in those departments so far. 3. That the people I surround myself with shouldn't bring me down. I know that sounds extremely obvious and a sort of "palm to face" scenario, but it is genuinely something I couldn't grasp for the majority of my life. I made myself miserable all throughout high school strictly because of the people that I surrounded myself with didn't lift me up; they didn't make me want to be a better person, example and Daughter of God. They didn't make my friendship, my thoughts and opinions a priority in their lives. I was manipulated and used, and even though I saw it, I still let it happen. I wasn't the best Haley Jean Young I could have been throughout high school and that is why I was so miserable.

               So coming to college has really opened my eyes that it doesn't matter if you're in sports, theatre, cheerleading, choir, or on the Honor Roll. While all of these things are great and important, they aren't what truly matters. What matters in the long run is that you like, no LOVE, who you are and what you stand for. Because the second you become ok with yourself, others will see your confidence and be drawn to you. And even if they aren't it won't matter. Because you are you, and you are happy, and what they think you can take as a grain of salt. Luckily for me, I have made some pretty incredible friends while I have been here who have taught me these lessons already, without even knowing they have. They have taught me to learn to love who I am and go for what I want. They have taught me to not dwell on the past, and not take others negative actions towards me as a reflection of who I am. But mostly they have taught me that there are people out there who want to know me just because of who I am. And that goes for everybody. So I am sorry for the overly cheesy post, but I just know that somebody somewhere needs the same kick in the butt that I have so lovingly received.

               And as a side note, thank you to all of those who have been true, real, and loving friends to me. Whether it has been for many years or just a few days, I appreciate and love you more than you know. Thank you for always encouraging me, lifting me up, and being so accepting of who I am.

Kicking College Butt.

               For everybody who thought I wasn't going to keep my blog up, SAY HELLO TO POST NUMBER 2. boomshakalaka. hahaha wow 2 whole posts. I am such a cool kid! Anyway... I have survived my first week of college! Let's all just take a moment to appreciate this. Give yourself a high five since I can't give you one. Not going to lie, I like it a lot more than I thought I was going to. I may or may not have come here with this whole attitude of "this isn't my home, I will be so homesick. I don't want to sleep here. I want my parents to come back" blah blah blah whine whine whine. So I can proudly declare now...I LOVE COLLEGE :) Granted, I will be the first to admit that it is a whole lot harder than I thought it would be. I am already spending a good sum of my time studying. And if you knew me in high school...this will blow your mind. Mom, are you proud?! :) But I am really enjoying all of my classes and the dynamic of campus. I seriously will see people and be like oh, they're in this class with me or they live in Eccles with me, they're in my ward, they go to church in my building, etc. It's such a small school and campus that it's almost like everybody knows everybody. It's really nice :) Smaller classes make for a better learning and much more personal learning experience. It's quite delightful!

               So I had my first "college weekend" and let me tell you...I have never had so much fun in my entire life. A lot of the fun I have had I definitely owe to my roommate Kim. Let's just take a second and rave about how great she is. Kim and I met at Be the Best You (a camp for girls. google it. its most excellent) last summer. We were in the same group and became pretty good friends. While at BBY I had just graduated early and was telling her how excited I was to come to SUU. Lucky me, that's the school she would be going to in the fall! we kept in contact and decided we wanted to be roommates. Best decision I have made yet. She is HILARIOUS. We have really similar senses of humor, which is quite unique since I am such a weirdo. We have so much fun together and she is a really great friend. We respect each other and our differences, but she definitely inspires me to be a better person all together. I am just really grateful for that lady. Also, she's a total bombshell and we wear the same size clothes. So perks for that. She has attractive friends and cute clothes. Best roommate ever :) Anyway, she let me follow her around like a lost puppy this week and hasn't complained once. What a trooper.

               Last week was welcome back week so there was a campus activity going on every single day. I am going to miss that because it gave me an excuse to not study and go and do something fun. boo. So Monday they had cookies and a free photo booth, which was delightful. Tuesday they did a "Dive In Movie" where the student body was invited to go over to the pool, go swimming and watch a movie. We were there for maybe 20 minutes. Maybe. :/ Wednesday they brought in a comedian. Holy cow, I laughed so hard! It was good, somewhat clean humor.  But I mean, who doesn't like to laugh? :) Thursday they did a club fair...but I didn't commit to anything too exciting. After was the rivalry game against Weber State and it was a red out! best part? WE GOT FREE T-SHIRTS. I think it goes without saying that there were a lot of students there. They hear free and they flock. I can testify to that one. But anyway, the student body was all wearing red and had so much school spirit. I really enjoyed myself! Until we lost...We just won't talk about it. Then Friday came. Here at SUU, once a semester, they do this ever so delightful thing called Casino Night. Seriously EVERYBODY goes, it's that fantastic. You get all dolled up and looking spiffy and you go and they give you poker chips and then you proceed to play games like Poker and Black Jack. Basically they teach you how to gamble without losing any money. College is all about gaining experience for the future. Vegas is 2 hours away, and I am quite lucky at black jack. Too bad I'm not 21 right? :) It was so much fun! Kim and I got all hot and stuff and spent the evening playing black jack and dropping our chips from hand to hand attempting to look classy. It was such a great night, I went home with a big smile on my face :) And then on Saturday there was a dance. I have never laughed so hard in my entire life. I think it goes without saying that the second the lights are down, a strobe light is involved and loud music, I go extremely white extremely fast. I am the epitome of a white girl dancing. Others get extreme entertainment from it so you're welcome society :) Kim and I had a super fun night dancing and being crazy. But we did leave with headaches, a little dehydrated and our ears were ringing. But it was worth it :) I LOVE COLLEGE.

               To sum up my first week of college I would say I have spent it laughing, looking for cute boys and having a great time. I am loving discovering who I am and what I want from my life. It's such a blessing I have to be able to get an education at such a good school. I miss my family more than anything, but I know I am where I am supposed to be, and I couldn't be happier :) 

Maybe this time, it will stick.

So...I am super bad at this whole blogging deal. But now that I am a big girl, and in college, my English class requires me to write in a blog. My thought process is that since it is now required of me to have an academic blog, I might as well have a personal blog too! Not like many people really, truly care what is going on in my life but if you do...you're welcome. I am writing this blog for you. And mom, you are most likely the only one reading this...so now you will know whether or not I am behaving. haha oops. :)
                So, college. ha, I have gotten myself into quite the adventure here! For those of you who don't know this already, I am currently studying at Southern Utah University. It's my 3rd day of school and I am already worn out! Granted, it will probably take a while to get a good nights sleep in somewhere that I consider to be foreign ground. Don't get me wrong, I am really loving it! But it just isn't..home. Not yet at least. But I mean, I have only been here for 3 days right? It will get better with time :)
               I ADORE my roommate Kim. She is the greatest thing since wonder bread. I mean really though. She has made it a lot easier for me to be away from home, and for that I owe her so much! We have 4 other roommates, and they are all absolute sweethearts. There is Lucille who is from France. She is an absolute beauty and is so kind and polite. But knows all the words to Shots by LMFAO. I think it goes without saying that she is the coolest out of all of is. Did I mention she is beautiful? Because she IS. There is also Janet. Who is a total doll. She is so chill and much like all the others SO nice. We get along swimingly! Next is Sage! She is basically model status, that one. She is a California girl who shares the same love for Trader Joes as me. We obviously get along great, sharing such a strong mutal interest :) She is smart and is so funny. I enjoy her presence immensley. And last, but definitely not least, is Brandy! She is incredible. She has traveled basically the entire world, is brilliant and a total fox. We are really similar in a lot of ways, and I really like talking to her about life. She and I are on the same level, which is great.
               I think it is definitely easy to say that I got really lucky in the roommate department. They are all so welcoming and nice and we all get along great. AND they don't eat my food. Which is a big bonus!
              A lot of people, when they find out I am at school, ask me what I am studying...which is kind of a difficult question to ask. If you were to look at my SUU Portal, it says I am undeclared. Which is somewhat true. But don't think I don't have ambition or a dream. Because I most definitely do. My goal as of right now is to get my degree in Psychology, to go on to get my PhD in Sports Psychology. But unfortunately, that is a long ways away and it kind of sounds like a pipe dream right now, considering I am only 3 days into my first semester of college. But that is, as of this moment, the initial goal. We will see how much I like my psychology class.
             Well now that you are bored out of your wits I am probably going to call this good. Mostly because its forever past my bedtime. Hvaving class at either 8 or 8:30 in the morning wasn't my brightest of ideas. You live and you learn. Maybe I will actually be consistent in my blogging. But if i were you, I wouldn't hold my breath. :)