20 Things I Learned By Age 20

So my 20^th birthday has come and gone and it was a pretty great day. I think it’s a bit of an understatement to say that I like my birthday. It was a great day surrounded by great people. And boy am I glad to no longer be 19! But with my birthday came a lot of thinking about the last 20 years of my life. Who I have become, the things I have done, the lessons I have learned, and the people who have touched my heart and made me who I am. So I decided to make a list of 20 things I learned by the time I turned 20. So here goes nothing!

1. I am just fine the way I am. I always focus so much on what others think about me when, in reality, it honestly doesn't matter. I like who I am, my husband likes who I am, my friends like who I am, and I like to think my Heavenly Father and Savior like who I am. And that is good enough for me! 

2. High school never ends. You may graduate, put your stupid tassel on your rear view mirror in your car, and go off to college...but high school mentality stays with a lot of people way past high school.

3. Just because high school mentality is around you, doesn't mean you have to have it too. I HATED high school, and for a good reason, and I couldn't have been more ready to be done. But I went off to school and made friends who were just as petty and dramatic as they were their sophomore year of high school. But just because they were like that didn't mean I had to be.

4. Not everybody is going to like me. And that's ok. This one was EXTREMELY hard for me. I love people. I want everybody to like me! But unfortunately, not everybody does. In fact, it's a pretty big number of people who don't like me. And honestly? I'm ok with that. I like me, my husband likes me, my family likes me, and my Heavenly Father likes me. And that is what matters most.

5. Everyone has trials. And just because they are different than yours doesn't mean they are any better or any harder. We are given exactly what's going to help us grow to be the people our father in heaven knows we have the potential to be!

6. Disagreeing is natural...and healthy! I always was so scared when Daniel and I were first dating to have a different opinion than him. And now that we are married and have miss Adelaide, we disagree a lot more than we used to. But that's ok. We were raised differently and so we have different views and opinions on how things should be handled. But it gives us the opportunity to grow together and find a new happy medium in our marriage for our little family.

7. Daniel looks real good in basketball shorts. This is a fact.

8. Being a mom is hard. Growing up you always think your mom is insane when she says things like "you don't understand and you won't until you're a mom" and when my mom would say that to me it drove me NUTS. But it's so true. My friends even can't relate to me because they just don't understand what being a mom is like. It's the hardest thing I've ever done.

9. Being a mom is rewarding. It's hard? Of course! But it is so worth it. I get so frustrated because Addie will be sound asleep in our arms at 10:30 and then the second we out her in her bed, she's wide awake and SCREAMING. I get so angry and frustrated With the situation, but then she looks up at me with those big blue eyes and she smiles at me and recognizes me as her mommy and it melts my heart and makes it all worth it. There's nothing better.

10. Real friends are important. I spent a lot of my school life being friends with people who couldn't give a crap about me, and it always boggled my mind when we would have a falling out. But now that I'm older and I have some of the best friends in the entire world, I understand now why things didn't work with those people.

11. It's ok to let your guard down. I recently had an experience that really hurt my feelings pretty good and I told my mom I never would get close to anyone ever again. It's possible i was being a smidge dramatic, but that's genuinely how I felt. My trust had been broken and I got very hurt. But only a few weeks later I made a great new girlfriend who I adore. And if I had kept my guard up and been standoffish towards her, we wouldn't have become friends.

12. People (have the potential to) suck. Not much else needs to be said about this.

13. Everyone has an opinion and guess what? You're entitled to it. This is a big one once you move out and especially when you get married and have kids. I can't even tell you how many different people, some who I don't even know, have told me how to raise my daughter. And just because they think they know what's best doesn't mean you have to listen to them or do what they say.

14. Family is important. My family, just like any other, has its unique little dysfunctions and problems, but at the end of the day we are pretty great. I've got sisters who are some of my best friends, brothers who I know love and support me, and incredible parents who would do just about anything for me. I've also got my amazing Grimm family who treats me just as well and loves me just as much as my own. Family is so important. And just because you might be a little strange doesn't mean you aren't fabulous.

15. It's ok to be a little weird. Daniel and I like to run errands together and something Daniel does WITHOUT FAIL...is dance in any and every store we go into. And my husband is a terrible dancer! It embarrasses the crap out of me and I always beg him to stop, but generally he doesn't. And I think secretly I don't mind it. He may be one of the weirdest people I've ever met, but he compliments how weird I am too. We are able to laugh with, and at, each other all the time and I think that's pretty great :)

16. Materialistic things and places won't make you happy. When we were living in Cedar city, we were broke as a joke, newly married, I was pretty depressed and surprise! I was making an unplanned person. I didn't think life could suck any more than it did. And I told Daniel "if we move back to Northern Utah, then I'll be happy" and so we packed up out tiny apartment and we moved! Spoiler alert. Our location wasn't the problem. I was so fixated on the fact that we were so disgustingly poor, I was extremely hormonal, and adjusting to a new lifestyle. It had absolutely noting to do with where we lived. I think happiness is something we can control. If you wake up wanting to have a good day the odds are you'll have a good day! I think the only exception to this statement is that there is one place you can go to make you happy. Disneyland. Just kidding (kind) I think attending the temple can make a person pretty dang happy :)

17. The gospel is vital. I have never been so sure of something in my life. Without the Church, I don't know what my life would be. It scares me to imagine a life without the truthfulness of the gospel. And because we have the truth, we should share it! Why not give the insane happiness we have to everybody around us?

18. Beauty isn't defined by what size jeans you wear. Holy. This one I still struggle with on occasion. If you've had a baby, then you know how I feel. Every girl I've ever met talks about how excited they are to be pregnant because they think having a bump will be fun. Don't get me wrong, it does have its perks, but post baby belly is not so fun. I would get out of the shower and for weeks after Addie was born just cry at my reflection. I felt gross and unattractive. I would apologize to my husband for not having the figure I had when we first got married. I would cry when my clothes just didn't fit. And finally Daniel drilled into me that I was still beautiful to him. That just because my tummy has stretch marks now and the skin is loose doesn't make me any less attractive to him. And oh how important that was for me to hear!

19. Life is really hard. We are tried and tested and our tempers get the best of us sometimes. It's just how it's supposed to be. Life was not meant to be easy.

20. Life is so good. Even though we have trials and struggles, we also have more blessings than we can count!

I am so insanely blessed with the life I have. I have an awesome husband who I love and adore, a beautiful baby who I'm convinced makes the world spin, loving friends, a supportive family, and so much more. I can't wait to see what the next twenty years have in store for me!