I know I just barely went on a rant about this crazy
stuff but Having gotten married so young I still have a handful of single
friends, and recently I have been noticing that when I hang out with them all I
do is talk about, well you guessed it, Being married. I recently went to lunch
with a close friend from high school and when our conversation was coming to an
end she told me something that really struck a chord in me. She said that she
could listen to me tell stories about what it's like being married all day and
that I made her excited to be married. That probably seems so silly, but it
really made me think about how wonderful marriage is. I think I'm being
sentimental because I'm nearly 37 weeks pregnant and my hormones aren't sure
what is happening...but what my sweet friend said to me made me want to talk
about marriage a little more. So here we go.
When marriage is generally brought up between a
married person and a single/engaged person the thing I would guess that is said
the most is "marriage is really hard." I remember my family and
married friends saying that to me over and over again when daniel and I got
engaged and I'll be super honest with you. at first I didn't believe them...and
then the stress of the wedding and the pressure of remaining temple worthy and
all of the forces and chaos of being engaged hit, Daniel and I started to fight
(which we never did while dating) and I got scared thinking "well if we
can't even make being engaged work how hard is marriage REALLY?" And I
went into my marriage expecting it to be extremely hard. Don't get me wrong,
being married takes a lot of effort. Like I talked about in my previous post,
it takes 100 percent from both sides, it takes compromise and communication. It
takes effort. It takes work. But does that mean it's necessarily hard? here's
how I look at it. I love Daniel. I love him so much it consumes me every second
of every single day. And because I love him so much I want to be the best
friend, wife, support, cheerleader, therapist, etc. for him. I want to be a
wonderful mom to his children. I want to be so great for him that he looks
forward to coming home from work or school so he can be with me. I want him to
brag about me to his buddies. I want him to use me as an example of why being
married rocks to his single friends. And Because I love him, I have the desire
to put the effort in to make that happen. And because I love him, I don't find
that hard. Sometimes it's a little frustrating that he doesn't like to sort the
laundry into the proper bins, but being married to him isn't hard. Yeah I wish
that he didn't snore at night, but that doesn't make being married to him hard
either.
Marriage is a challenge. Is that a better way to put
it? You are combining two lives. Now I've known my husband and my in-laws for
years and years. They've seen me through my adorable years, my awkward stages,
and they've watched me become the person that I am. They even helped form the
person that I am today. And because our families were so close I figured that
combining my life with Daniels wouldn't be a transition. I was wrong. Yes, my
in-laws are amazing, and I love them. But they are different enough from my
parents in the way they raised their children that things that upset me and
bother me, don't upset or bother my husband. We were raised by different
people, under different roofs, under different circumstances. Does that mean
the way I was raised was better than Daniel? No. Does that mean my in-laws are
better parents than mine were, or vise versa? Definitely not. But every family
is so different. And when you combine your life with somebody else, you're
going to not always see eye to eye on things. But when you communicate,
compromise, and let the Lord interfere by coming to a conclusion through prayer
together, you make it work. Effort needs to be put into marriage every single
day. And I believe when the effort stops being put in, that's when marriage
gets hard.
You'll have hard times. Don't get me wrong, Daniel and
I have had a handful of those in the 11 months we've been married, and I know
there are millions more ahead of us. But like any couple, we have to work
through those hard times together. I once read a comment by somebody and they
said that they knew there would be loveless times in their marriage and it
genuinely made me sad for them. Hard times come. You're going to fight and
disagree. Somebody might go for a drive and ignore your calls, or sleep on the
sofa for a night. You'll have heartache, your families will frustrate you,
you'll disagree on how to handle situations...Maybe work is especially
frustrating and you bring it home with you and take it out on your kids or
spouse by being short tempered or rude. But the love you feel for your spouse
should never leave. I can't even imagine looking at Daniel and not loving him,
no matter what was said or done or had gone down between us. I don't want to even
think about that.
Now I know that Daniel and I are still
"newlyweds" and that I probably sound so naive. But I want all of my
friends and family members to know, especially my friends still looking for
their very own Daniels, that marriage is so worth the search. I was so blessed
to find my eternal companion and best friend at a really young age. Some people
it takes years, and for some that's not in our Heavenly Father's plan for them
in this life. But never give up. Never shy away because being married sounds
hard. Don't let the fear of marriage outweigh your desire to find that special
someone. Because if you're being all you can be, always trying your hardest to
give your 100% best to those around you, you'll be so surprised at how quickly
things can change. Being married has been the greatest adventure of my life.
Getting married to Daniel was, and probably always will be, the best decision
I'll ever make. And I hope that all of you have either found that happiness or
that you will find it. Because it is the sweetest blessing of all.
No comments:
Post a Comment