Love and Marriage

I post this knowing I will probably upset some people…and if I do I apologize..but there has been some things on my mind and I feel so inclined to share. So let’s get started!

Recently on facebook there has been an article going around that was written based off a talk by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The article gives wonderful advice for dating, being in love, and it is even applicable to marriages. Now I know Daniel and I have not been married all that long, our one year mark is approaching fast, but I can honestly say the past 11 months of being married, and even our dating and engaged life, has been bliss. Do not get me wrong here…my marriage is NOT perfect. Like any relationship, it takes a lot of hard work from both sides. Daniel is not the only one who needed to make changes. I am not the only one who has to put in an effort to show genuine love daily. Daniel and I work together, communicate, and as long as we are both giving it our 100% daily, our marriage is close to perfect. But, we are also very imperfect beings, and sometimes we don’t always simultaneously give our 100% best to each other...and that is when things seem hard, we fight, or just get on each others nerves. Please do not read this and think I am saying I have figured marriage out. That I know what I am doing all of the time or that I have a better marriage than anybody else, because I don’t. And I don’t think that at all. But I wanted to express some of my opinions on how to make a marriage better…like I said earlier it has just been on my mind. You can take what I say for a grain of salt :)

In Elder Holland’s talk, a large focus in on having a Christ centered relationship. The more you work towards the savior, the closer you will become to your spouse. I can tell you that I know this is true. When Daniel and I pray together, read our scriptures together and individually, and have discussions on the fundamentals of the gospel is when we grow the closest together. When we attend the temple together, I feel significantly closer to my spouse. Being in the temple reminds me of my savior and the covenants I have made there; including the sacred covenants I have made to and with my Daniel on the day we got sealed together for time and all eternity in the presence of our wonderful families and closest friends.

Another point Elder Holland makes is that love should not be selfish. I think this is one that I have to remind myself daily to keep working at. I will be the very first to admit, I have a tendency to be pretty selfish sometimes and it doesn’t benefit anybody really. I am a firm believer that the marriages you see growing up help shape the marriage you get into. I grew up with parents who are still happily married. My parents still go out on dates. My mom still gets excited when my dad gets home from work. I don’t think there has been a day in my life that I haven’t heard my dad tell my mom how much he loves her, and how beautiful she is. My parents laugh together, they share together and they WORK together…they are very rarely selfish. And because I was so richly blessed to grow up around that, I have taken their example and tried to apply it into my marriage. I try so hard to tell my Daniel how much I love him every single day. That I appreciate the sacrifices he makes for me and our daughter. I tell him he is the most handsome man I know. I make sure he knows I love him. And because Daniel was also lucky enough to grow up in a home with parents who have a wonderful marriage, he does the same for me. There has not been a single day since we started dating that my husband has forgotten to tell me I look nice, or that he loves me, appreciates me, or just simply makes me feel special. Daniel is not selfish and is slowly teaching me how to be more selfless. How lucky am I that this is what I have for eternity? I feel richly blessed as we prepare to welcome our daughter into the world within the next couple weeks that I know that she will grow up in a home filled with genuine, selfless love.

The last thing I want to draw attention to isn’t from Elder Holland, it is from the First Presidency. “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” is a wonderful read, if you have not read it in your life I encourage you to find it now on LDS.org because it is worth your time. Family. How important the family is! Something that I love about the gospel is that its whole focus is on families. I love that my mom and dad are sealed together and by being sealed together, I get to be sealed to them.  And because I am sealed to them, I am sealed to my siblings. And Daniel is sealed to HIS parents, whom are sealed to all of their children. And Daniel and I got sealed. And because we got sealed, our sweet Addie and all of our other children to come will be sealed to us. And their siblings, and their aunts and uncles and grandparents…it never ends. That is the beauty of the gospel. That it isn’t just husband and wife, man and woman. It is the FAMILY. Without my family, I would be nothing. And I promise you my husband feels the same way. I see the relationships we both have with our parents, our siblings, our sibling’s children…and I get overwhelmed with love and gratitude. They say when you marry somebody you marry their family…that statement? Completely true. The family is important enough…it is the most important thing to our Father in Heaven, that he has stressed to us that the family unit is eternal, celestial, and sacred. We should never take the family for granted. Families fight, argue, disagree, sometimes they don’t talk for years and hey, even some people don’t like their family. But guess what? They’re still your family. And I know that because of my family, both the Young side and the Grimm side, help make my marriage stronger, better, and happier. The never ending love and support I get from my parents, siblings, and in-laws…is a key part to the happiness to myself and my husband which, you guessed it, then transfers into the happiness in my marriage. In Genesis it says to cleave unto your spouse, which you always should, but I strongly encourage you to cleave unto your FAMILIES. Because in the eternal perspective? The family is all that matters.

I hope this helps, encourages, or brightens somebody’s day. I know I am not perfect, my marriage is not perfect, and I have a lot to work on individually. But I know this gospel is true. I know that when we take the counsel from the prophets and apostles that our lives will be richly blessed. And I encourage all of my friends and family members to do the same. So here are some adorable pictures of my family that I love so much to make you happy :)